Having children changes everything about you, and in a way that nothing else can. This fact cannot be understated and should be at the forefront of your mind, if and when you decide to have children.
No matter what you do in this life, if you have children, and if you amount to nothing else, you will always have created something by having children. You will have produced a product and introduced it to the world. Children are the product of a relationship, they are not the property of the relationship. Your relationship may be short, it may be a lifetime. But a relationship may end, a marriage can be dissolved, or a spouse may pass away. The property of the relationship, as opposed to a product, that is obtained during the course of a relationship can all be dealt with on its termination. Property can be disposed of and transferred, and once that is done, and in the absence of children, your relationship with that person will only be a memory in your mind. It may be a special and sentimental memory, but it will always amount only to a memory.
But if you have produced children, you will have a connection, and a relationship, through your children, to that person, for the rest of your life. Because of this relationship, parents endure great sacrifice of themselves to do what is “best for the kids”. This sacrifice might come in the form of noble sacrifices, such as working longer hours to ensure that your children are provided for. Even with noble sacrifice, you still need to manage your relationship as well.
There is a dark side to this sacrifice, such as remaining in a relationship with an abusive partner or spouse for the sake of the children. This isn’t an act of sacrifice unless you count sacrifice of your judgment. It is an act of lunacy. There is no nobility in remaining in an abusive relationship. And it need not continue. It will be tough, and it will be hard, and you will need help, but it need not continue.
All relationships are hard. Abusive relationships are even harder.
If you think you are in an abusive relationship, there are legal steps that you can take to protect both yourself and your children, and the relationship that your children have with their parents, and that your children’s parents have with each other, and so that harm to everyone involved is minimised.
If you want to be more informed and advised on what legal steps to take, contact DB Lawyers today.